One step forward, two steps back…
At least that’s how it feels.
I know what I need to do,
(in my head of course)
But I just don’t do it.
Instead I redo what doesn’t work.
~ ~ ~
I daydream through life.
Even something as profound
As the Male Rites of Passage
Leaves me relatively untouched.
Relatively? Is that another cop-out?
Are You fed up with me God?
~ ~ ~
“Whatever you trust to validate you
And secure you is your real God.”
I know, I know, I know.
“What little he has will be taken away…”
I know, I know, I know.
Head knows, but doesn’t rule.
~ ~ ~
When will I wake up?
How will I wake up?
I fear only suffering will change me.
I’ve had it easy and I know it.
Sleep walking through life,
Talents wasted or buried.
~ ~ ~
Is this the path of descent?
The only way that I can go,
That strikes at my rigid ego?
Pride and fantasy is the sum,
And only rock bottom awaits?
How much further to descend?